Ampersand

I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the
Approaching sound of trucks and sirensEven though the world's so bad
These men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them
I do my part by simply smilingThe ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method
Of courtship has ever been effectiveHas any girl in history said
Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on
Still I always shock them
When I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"And I'm not gonna live my life
On one side of an ampersand
Even if I went with you
I'm not the girl you think I amAnd I'm not gonna match you
'Cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm not gonna watch you
'Cause I'm not the one that's crazyI have wasted years of my life
Agonizing about the fires I started
When I thought that to be strong
You must be flame retardantAnd now to dress the wounds calls into question
How authentic they are
There is always someone criticizing me
She just likes playing hospital
Lying in my bed I remember what you said
There's no such thing as accidentsBut you've got the headstone all ready
All carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matchingThe daisies all push up'n
Pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup
It's nice that you're tryingThe headstone's all ready
All carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matchingThe daisies all push up'n
Pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup
It's nice that you're tryingBut I'm not gonna live my life
On one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you
I'm not the girl you think I amAnd I'm not gonna match you
'Cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm not gonna watch you
'Cause I'm not the one that's crazy, yeahAs I wake up to a cough
The fire burned the block but ironically
Stopped at my apartment
And my house mates are all sleeping soundlyAnd nobody deserves to die
For you were awful adamant
That if I didn't love you
Then you had just one alternativeAnd I may be romantic
I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you
You know I ain't no JulietI'm not gonna watch you
While you burn yourself out, baby
No, I'm not gonna stop you
'Cause I'm not the one that's crazy, yeah
I'm not the one that's crazy, oh yeah
I'm not the one that's crazy